I feel attacked. 🎃👻💀🕷
And august is my birth month 🤦♀️😅
I’ve never been so entranced and enraged in one sitting.
@/ashleylewofficial on instagram
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bds52KEhdpf/?hl=en&taken-by=ashleylewofficial
🖤 ~ ❤ ~ 💜 ~ 💙 ~ 💚 ~ 💛
reblog to break that plateau and lose some weight! i believe in you!
💛 ~ 💚 ~ 💙 ~ 💜 ~ ❤ ~ 🖤
❗️🔮reblog this miraculous pumpkin and you will be granted with their grace to lose 15-20 lbs till halloween🔮❗️
I need to reboot 3-4 times.
HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE
MAKE A WISH
the first post ever on tumblr
I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK
WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK
reblog this because it shows up every blue moon
I’m going through financial troubles and need to sell my collection of monster high dolls, every doll is from before the reboot and were for displaying. I have 64 loose dolls here, plus the 4 power ghoul dolls. I haven’t locked down exactly what prices each one would be so if you’re interested in a few contact me on here with an offer. I prefer to ship purchases that exceed $10. Thank you!
I’m so tired of fatphobic shows being labeled as “progressive.”
🎶💀💖 Bella 💖💀🎶
What shows do you label as fatphobic that other people claim are progressive?
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.
Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?
Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
Men are fucking disgusting, part 2485726364784483762367472636474
What the ACTUAL fuck?
do…men understand that you cant just….buy birth control…in the store………….like condoms?????? you…cant really shop around…for birth control?????
Also you don’t like??? Take MORE??? Because you’re having a ton of sex??? Like you always take the same amount wtf
men are so fucking oblivious we need better sex ed
“Don’t know how to shop” I’m physically repelled omg
“a party favor” someone kick this man in the head
Okay but I wanna why they changed their pets. Whats better than a pet bat for a vampire?? Or a pet snake for a mummy??? Literally, nothing. They had everything perfect and they RUINED it
I personally like cleo with a cat for a number of reasons..
The first domesticated cat (in my knowledge) is the Egyptian mao… and religiously cats were important involving passage after death.
but I’ll never understand draculaura with a poodle….
No. YOU DON’T GET TO DO THIS AND SLIP UNDER THE RADAR. Anyone who’s seeing this, I beg you to reblog. I want as many people to see this shit as possible.
this is really true tho!!! my uncle was a cop in NY & FL and they taught him to shoot first if he had to. anytime a cop feels threatened (and they basically teach cops they’re always threatened) they can shoot. its rlly sick psychological torture shit to help create a police state tbh
W H A T
actions speak
Never forget how they treated us
Hurricane Katrina if anyone was wondering
NEW ORLEANS
PLEASE NEVER FORGET THEY LEFT THE PEOPLE OF MY CITY TO DIE!
why….. why do they have guns in response to a natural disaster?
Merica
They killed my mama’s friend on the danziger bridge
Always reblog
And ppl still suffering PTSD 10 years later
I’m at work trying so hard not to cry
I remember my English teacher talked to us about this one day in class and she was sobbing so hard she had to leave
I hated this.
the plea agreements drew prison terms from three to 12 years (x)
halloqueen31